Porcelain Princess's
66While many will find this hub extremely sad, it is half of me, please know I find the gifts it did bring. Gifts that most aren't forced to experience in a life time. Dedicated to a dear friend indeed.
2 friends keeping eachother alive
Scars are just tattoos with better stories..........so they say.
Jeri and I gave ourselves twin names, 5 minutes, after we met. I was as white as snow, she said arriving at the hospital.
I returned the compliment in jest, that I didn't know anyone's skin could be so black.
Well then, Jeri said, we must have meant to be close friends.
Porcelain Princesses, sound most fitting.
In our laughter, most definitely agreed, and so it was. To my delight we became the original PP's like never before. At least not here, on the inside.
Shock Therapy ect - Pocelain Prison
Do not feel your the person
Who has to check if I am okay
Rather relax and know
I am being cared for every day
Do not worry if I feel alone
Your not appointed to fix my state
Rather know this whole process
I will meet others and I can wait
Do not feel alone living without me
A decade has proven for you it is an ability
Rejoice in your own given privacy
And finally calming stability
Do not predict the upcoming treatment
Expectations almost never come true
ECT has helped me once already
With prayer and success I will come back like new
Do not assume obligation to visit
Your busy enough just with your meeting
Rather keep your routine it works
No doubt the ward will keep me busy, greeting
Do not leave for tomorrow
What you can do today
Rather put our faith in this given moment
Because as soon as I am stronger, we will play
Please Please do not listen to me
I am trying to be tough
When in fact I am fragile, and needy
So I promise you, I'm okay, and I love you
Kimberly Gray 1992
I had lived these hallways more than a few times before. Sounds, smells and routines were common to me by then. However I was beginning to realize not so much for Jeri.
People are cold here. Everything is quiet or echos of screams and all so sterile. Am I safe here, Jeri asked me?
Later I learned, when she began confiding in me, she had never been in a lock down 'anything' before, much less a psychiatric ward. She talked of them taking her shoelaces, even her robe belt, all pens and any sharp objects. Sharps including shampoo bottles, she had that had square bottoms and the plastic made them sharp. They gave her one crayon and paper and she was not allowed to leave her room aside from meal time and once an hour 10 minute break. She sure was glad there was a smoking room, and asked if I smoked too, as she found it very scary to go in that room alone.
I had lost all fears many admissions ago. I never left Jeri's side and guided her way. She, not knowing , as our friendship grew helped me with my fear of getting close or trusting anyone. 9 months we were in lock-down. We certainly had plenty of free time to get in all kinds of trouble, and boy we did. It made living a curious dare by day then night.
But reality would remind us 3 times a week that we were receiving shock treatment because nothing else worked. This created a fear that you loose all hope of ever getting better or 'feeling normal'
For us
ECT worked, where all the years of medications, with experimenting doctors cocktails, trials and disappointments, leaves a feeling of hopelessness. Giving up, is close to not being able to cope, and no one to turn to. Lonely is guaranteed.
Barbaric? Many think so. ECT is only legal in 2 countries in the world. In the US, it has been banned in many States.
Can't argue it is at minimum, an extremely aggressive treatment for mental illness. Speaking of an illness carrying a chemical imbalance in the brain. An imbalance that lives with you for life.
Even though it helped me, the effects are extreme enough that, for me, causes doubt. The effects, specifically memory loss is what I believe caused me to get better. Not the treatments.
An aggressive set of 27 bi-lateral, consecutive sessions created memory loss I could not believe. Doctors know 4 months after treatment you are guaranteed to loose all memory of the year prior to these sessions. They have no way of knowing how or when other permanent memory loss will be effected. It is different for every patient.
I suppose aggressive therapy such as mine [maximum allowed] should be obvious to expect aggressive effects. It didn't occur to me how much of memory loss was possible.
I have lost 10 years, consecutive of memory, =nothing. I manage through people, pictures, and family to piece my years together and study them enough, they act as a form of some memory.
This is what causes me to hesitate upcoming treatments possibly again. How, when, what, who will I further forget? Weighing, ECT works for me, versus the large gaps of permanent memory loss.
The good news is my current cocktail of new medications, while seemingly insane by quantity, are working really well. Despite medical diagnosis, expecting I still will receive ECT, I won't at this point.
My point in all this, is detailed by Jeri. If she could have just waited until something clicked. Mental Illness can be treated, even the severe chemically imbalanced, like myself.
Hope for the mentally ill, is non-existent. But use and hold on to hope from the people around you.
ect from one flew over coo coos nest-Jack N
electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
Who Invented ECT?
... the broader term "shock therapy" also includes the use of chemical agents. The therapeutic possibilities of these treatments were discovered in the 1930s by Manfred Sakel, a Polish psychiatrist, using insulin; L. J. Meduna, an American psychiatrist, using Metrazol; and Ugo Cerletti and Lucio Bini, Italian psychiatrists, using electric shock.
What is ECT?
electroconvulsive therapy
The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition | 2008 | Copyright
electroconvulsive therapy in psychiatry, treatment of mood disorders by means of electricity; the broader term "shock therapy" also includes the use of chemical agents. The therapeutic possibilities of these treatments were discovered in the 1930s by Manfred Sakel, a Polish psychiatrist, using insulin; L. J. Meduna, an American psychiatrist, using Metrazol; and Ugo Cerletti and Lucio Bini, Italian psychiatrists, using electric shock. Metrazol and insulin accounted for a very limited number of remissions in cases of schizophrenia. However, the injection of insulin often caused coma, while Metrazol and electric shock resulted in convulsions similar to those of epileptics.
Advances in electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) have made it the standard mechanism of shock therapy. ECT has had unquestionable success with involution melancholia and other depressive disorders, although it may be ineffective or only temporarily effective. ECT is generally employed only after other therapies for depression, mania, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia have proven ineffective. The administration of anesthetics and muscle relaxants prior to ECT has greatly reduced the risk of injury during the procedure, which is typically administered six to eight times over a period of several weeks. The seizure lasts for up to 20 seconds, and the patient can be up and about in about an hour. Long-term memory loss is the main significant potential side effect; headache and temporary short-term memory loss may occur. Why ECT works, however, is still not fully understood, but it may be the result ofneurotransmitters released in the brain as a result of the seizure.
Bibliography: See A. S. Hermreck and A. P. Thal, The Adrenergic Drugs and Their Use in Shock Therapy (1968); L. B. Kalinowsky and H. Hippius, Pharmacological, Convulsive, and other Somatic Treatments in Psychiatry (1969).
I needed my other porcelain princess, yet she did perish, on purpose.
Jeri
Jeri was not as fortunate as I. She did successfully kill herself on her last attempt just past a year ago. We use to laugh and poke fun at each other. She actually made life worth living on the inside, as we called it. It was always understood we were going to off ourselves soon as we got out, and even found a way to laugh at the fact she was my 'black' up to make sure.
Later came Sooner
And I got stronger, better but sad that I was realizing it's a crap shoot with all the struggles ECT still provides to it's patients.
For Jeri, it didn't work. I wouldn't have guessed this at all. In her decision, I respect her desperation to rid of pain she could not handle. May she have done so, and be at peace with no pain.
Thank you Tom
tom hellert 11 days ago
KL,
I have to say, i am really not mature enough to totally synthsize this hub- i am lucky a few anti depressents seem to keep me on a more even keel-but contrary to what most could say I feel bad/sad that you had to endure a double prison one internal and external-I can only infer what that is like- If nothing else look back remember where you have been and always remember "IT'S NOT WHERE YOU'RE FROM ITS WHERE YOU'RE AT". ANY DAY YOU THINK YOU HAVE 'ISSUES' REMEMBER THAT LITLE SAYING. I am not saying you should forget I am saying use the past to accentuate the progress- had I not read this I would never in 100 yeats guessed anything of this sort ofexperience would have happened to you. You are wise and in my opinion level headed and focused-your journey as followed an unusual path but that does nt make you a freak-a guy with a godzilla icon- is a freak- HA but Kim, you are stronger than you know or suspect-anyone you choose to share even a sliver of your journey with will be better for it , someday - maybe already you will find your "other half" and that person will be quite a very lucky soul
You are awesome in so many ways always REMEMBER
"ITS NOT WHERE YOU'RE FROM ITS WHERE YOU'RE AT..." REJOICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY has been long where you are at is somewhere to be proud of...
TH
Thank you for bringing my porcelain princess back to me in Cardisa
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I am sorry for your loss, your pain, and all the things that hold you back,
Take care, look beyond the superficial see what's important--you are!
MM
God Damn,Mental Slam,it always confines but sometimes it defines and refines.;)
Kimmie, I'm sorry you lost your friend, G-D rest her soul. I just hope you continue to grow in a positive way. You are worth it! H
I want to write to you something rich, fulfilling..clever...hopeful...
But all I can bring myself to say is... I love you....
Wow!...this hub is very moving. My condolences for the loss of your dear porcelain princess. Please remember she will live on inside of you. People that we meet often have a profound influence on our lives. Keep hubbing and connecting with others and you will definitely make a difference in this world. You are a beautiful porcelain princess which by the content in this hub is totally "unbreakable".
This is the real deal--reminds me of a book I read called, "The Snake Pit". This is one awesome hub. I'm really sorry for your mental illness--it is difficult (but NOT impossible) to treat. I'm also very, very sorry for your loss. Jeri sounds like a beautiful person. I, too, hope she is now at peace.
Thank you for this touching hub. I can't imagine how difficult it is to live with mental illness, much less have to live through a treatment as extreme as ECT. I'm just glad to hear that your current cocktail of medications are working well. You're quite a remarkable person, to come through this and be able to help others the way you do. And I'm very sorry to hear about Jeri, like someone else said I only hope that she is now at peace.
Be well and know that you are loved.
Maggie May
Thanks a ton for your support. Yes, it took many years but I do put me and my health before anything else now
Cheers girl
Thank You
Mentalist,
lets add behind, rewind denies, grind, hind, lines, finds, yes define, resign, design, sublime, .......
OK enough fun, have to change hotels soon
LOVE San Francisco !!!!
Harvey, I love you Mr Worry.
I don't think I did a good job in the message I was trying to convey, Of course for Jeri, RIP, there are too many Jeri's sadly, and through the process my illness has taken, I want people who feel hopeless and only anything but their illness, hold on, look at me.
It was important to include [for me] ect shown or told in the truest way. Nobody wants to see those visuals.
Here were two women with the same illnesses, same care and two polar opposite outcomes. Meaning ect is unpredictable.
We can feel so fragile and breakable, but porcelain is much stronger than we feel it is, as are we.
thanks H
bb
thank you and love you back.
I know it's not the best topic for a Sat morning read. But as I always do, wanted the truth to be told.
It raises many questions, but it only can continue to do so. For as long as it is legal
thank you for reading it regardless, much appreciated
kimberly
@Powerpoe1
woooohoooo spot on girl, you rock! Reading your comment was like reading my mind
I love unbreakable, just beautiful!
Thanks so much!
kimberly
Dear Kimberly, I am sorry for your loss. Losing a friend who understands is a double whammy. A good friend of mine attempted suicide about a year ago. It really shook my world, to actually see it. She has been through the shock treatments too, though it is not something she talks about.
I can't imagine volunteering for memory loss. I lost nearly a years worth of memory due to hormone changes, after my last child was born. May you find peace.
Ivorwen.
To lose a close friend, can make the heart drown in sorrow, hopefully all you've been thru won't ever, destroy who you are, keep writing, keep living, kimberlyslyrics.
..i love the way you wrote this...about 'your partner in Mayhem', Jeri...and yes, many don't make it do they? many do though....or struggle with a chronic ailment, searching for the answer for a better part of their lives...keep on spreading the word KL!
too bad you have to change hotel rooms for one more sleep! :) hope it was a good time!...later...gater!
you managed to get not only the information abount ECT's accross..but your deaar friends fight. and I am so proud of you talking about it. Also that no one could stop the hospital from doing it. That is what is more scary. You have turned out to be such a positive for so many people as a result of all your pain. I am proud of you. MOM
Wow Kimberly, your writing conveys the feelings and emotions so well. But you are here and your friend lives in your heart and words.
Porcelain princesses are precious and rare. At least you are here to tell the world about the dangers of ECT and the very special people who are subjected to these treatments through no fault of their own. As the remaining porcelain princess treat yourself with the care you deserve - porcelain princesses are an endangered species!
Hello Kimberly. Lots of love. Never been to San Fran and am glad you can; doll of porce-alan. You are the electric-acid Kool Aid test and the very best to be so blessed. You are an angel, a miracle, an artist, a messenger, a siren, a muse and a titan. Did I mention my friend and my lover? Well spiritually and emotionally - I love the way you move my soul to new heights with every write. Write On!
A very informative and moving article. Thank you so much for sharing this, Kimberly and Bless You.
up/awesome
Such a beautiful Porcelain Princess, Jeri....Kim, i'm sorry for your loss...I'm sorry the TX. dosen't work for everyone. It helped my Brother, Fred, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia when he was eighteen years old. This is a beautiful tribute to a Dear friend. Thank you.
Love and Peace
Hi Kimberly,
I'm proud of you that you could write this and I know what you are talking about as far as hospitals and such. I went to a meeting once at MClain's in Belmont, MA where the author of " Shock" was giving a talk, Michael Dukasis' wife. She spoke of how it was the only thing which maintained her after so many years of clinical depression.
Sorry for your loss. Always know schoolgirlforreal and I care and love you!!
Much like yourself, I keep being drawn back to this incredibly powerful writing of yours.
Like mom and blondey, I am soooo proud of you.
But that's the wonderful thing about my "unbreakable" "porcelain princess", the shear incredible majesty of what you do.
I've never in my life met anyone as spectacular as you, and I must say, you are a heaven sent angel to my life, for sure!!!
I consider it an unimaginable gift that you consider me your dear friend, and yes, ultimately, as sligobay said, hopefully, my lover...for life!!!
I do need to say how terribly sad I am for your lost friend, and I want you to know I share the deep pain of such a tragic loss as I lost my step dad, who I cared deeply for too, to depression and suicide as well - may both our lost loves, finally, rest in peace...
Lastly, I need to say this - you are a gift, a blessing, so powerful to so many of us, it's not funny.
I cannot fully understand, for I'm not really worthy, the gift that is my Kimberly, and probably never will, but I do know this - we were brought together for a reason, and I'll not waste this incredible opportunity to join forces with you, and quite literally, together, we'll change the world for the better...
This is a tribute to your my friend, I hope you like it, love blondey!
Hey Kimberly, your hub is very touching!I did not know much about the shock therapy. Its not easy receiving such treatments,losing your memory partially,losing a dear friend and writing this powerful piece of work which speaks highly of your courage. Great going gal...keep writing and be positive always!!!
love,
Sonia
Hi Kimberly. Your writing is so full of emotion, so soulful. I am sorry for your loss. You give so much hope to others, I just want you to know.
Hey,
I tried to email you too, my computer was acting up. I am trying to check that email now :(
:-)
Great Hub! Must have been a hard time for you, shock therapy alone had to be hard enough. But at least you got better and your friend is no more in pain and no longer has to endure ECT treatment.
I gots to say, those avatars are so cool, are they you when you modeled?!
Thanks for coming by!
yes and dont tell anyone or Ill cut your hair off
wait then you can cut mine off
most though are within past year
this one is 10 years old
I'm getting so old!
now wheres yours?
thank you btw
you know it's hard for me to be a pal when I'm dealing with incredibly beautiful women you two...but isn't there an old axom about your audience being naked... no, no, I don't think that's helping at all....
oops typo-pay no mind but you did mean incredibly talented am I correct?
that would be I love my two incredibly talented pals...;P
ha thanks true gentleman
cheers mr talent yourself
I was just thinking about what it's like to be my best friend Kimberly, a more sensitive, worldly, down to Earth person I've never met in my life.
A person every one wants to know, a gift of a woman who everyone knows when she's present. But, in the end, at the end of the day (I hate that phrase), how many would sacrifice of themselves to be at her side through thick and thin, good times and bad.
And I just want you to know, Kimberly, as much as anything I've ever known, as much as I know myself, my dreams, my wife and son, I know this, I will be by your side forever...
I don't know why, or how, but your life is a gift to mine, and maybe, someday, I could really put into words why I feel that way, just trust that I do..
my dearest bestest kindest friend, Princess Kimberly...
Kimberly,
LOL!!
Wow, you are smoking hot.
Um yeah, I have some..I've posted some before, mostly face pics cause I never was that nervy........mostly on schoolgirlforreal. :-)
BB,
looks like you are surely smitten!..can't say I blame you, if I was a guy???? hmmmmm that would be a hub wouldn't it.
cheers
:)
We're both smitten aren't we Rosie...
You're right, I can't help but wish to be the guy in one of Kimberly's dreams - perhaps them all...
But you know it's more than that - our love for her!!!
It's painful trying to put my most powerful feelings into words - I hate defeat.. but then again, I never give up...
Someday...I'll be worthy of her love...my Robin's..yours..
I'm determined to practice my craft..daily..till I pass..
and then you'll know me as the one who loved you most...
OK weez be tripping on photos and dreams, remember noface, thats the ideal erotica [maybe one I am rewriting now, anyway] the thrill of never knowing the true persons outer layers, what possibilities when that is eliminated.
just saying.
You're the maestro of the symphony of possibilities misty k...
But life is way too short and a light kiss and a strong resolve between outer layers has its place too...
That said..let's get on with the game, ha, I now know the rules...there are no rules!!!
I agree with kimberly. She be wise. Later......
I agree too...
Game on...
nothing more sensual than the imagination, I love my fairy tale where I am in control and visually a director.....anything is possible. But also a childish dreamer at heart since forever
hmmmm........
I have to remember just cause I am living, doesn't mean Im alive. I must daily remember that and ensure it.
Oh but a dream to be oh-so-alive and the world's greatest dreamer...
I think we can agree that that is what we have battled for all of our lives..
I bet I win who writes the best fantasy ... Lol Probably not, but you better watch out... now get to your writing you two or I will...
your on, due tomorrow at 3 your noon, is blondey in? Sexuality is not a mandate fantasy is. Ill apologize now for winning
blondey, waiting it's all for one and one for all
whats it going to be girl?
curious why do people say life is way to short? Suppose it is if you make it but avg 70 years stretching every day to what you want makes for anything but a short life for my fairy tale
just saying
@ Paradise7
Thanks again girl, must pick up that book, just so pleased you understood my message
you rock
lyrics
@ Burningman
Thank you for your compassion and understanding, your on fire by the way
just saying
see you for dinner mmm...
@ Ivorwen
You have always been an amazing support to so many hubbers, I am glad I am one of them
Thank you and just loved your latest hub
@MrDSpade2
your comment was literally poetic
Every day I am grateful your behind me, I mean that
@MrDSpade2
your comment was literally poetic
Every day I am grateful your behind me, I mean that
Mom
I love you so much
Thank you
A flood of Ms.Kimberly that provides for a mind awash with such pleasant and happy thoughts...
OK missy, tomorrow, at high, west-coast noon (he says, wide brim shading his eyes, chaps flapping in the breeze)...
And for life being too short, I'm selfish as hell - not only do I get to relish every second as I singularly lead my life as I see fit, but I also want every second I can get.
Anyway I look at it, I don't get enough... even if I live forever...
you should, and baby never assume anything, like underestimating how driven and sharp my selfishness is. You are not unique, but its good you think so. Many of us live with the sole purpose of getting enough, thus climaxing multiple times in pleasure
just saying
Sometimes I do feel like I'm fighting the world all alone, but please, never believe I underestimate you in any way (and a few others), and as far as selfish, you and I have the power to destroy others, but we don't, and maybe you'll feel the need to destroy me one day, like the movie "hero", but I'll still love you, but as far as unique, there's only through time that you'll truly learn about what I can do, and the visions I really have ... you haven't seen anything yet... "something wonderful is going to happen"...
just saying
Oh, and just so you know, you don't call me babe enough.. ;P
Luv ya'...
bb
anticipates
bountiful
entertainment
just not sure what
hmmmmm
have to do my ritual picture change before attempting to find some vocabulary again
hmmmm lets see
I like that dare
ok I'm in
hey, I know you guys will win but I'll try
bb that post earlier w/ the chaps itself was breathtaking
ok. It's me blondey. see you by 3 :-)
please k, don't run away from me yet, its bby, and entertainment is one thing I do adore, but I have a world to save too - that's where I'll destroy myself trying...one day... so see, time IS short
Don't sell yourself short Tiger, I know you've got some creative claws retracted...
lol and I was thinking about claws just now..
...just saying.
I can't keep up with them..
..just saying, was planning on taking the night off!!
I f@cking love my sligobay, no body more my friend
Okay I started thinking [and no have no idea what to write] but shouldnt there be some rules to keep this an even playing ground, andI am asking
example min 600 words, 1 photo, in our tags place trio competition and fantasy, no links or other capsules, something where itkeeps ittight. Thoughts?
Just thinking
May I ask whichever # of words agreed they be min number cause I'm long winded lmao big surprise but 400 is now the required # of words I read somewhere
Lastly our hubs all link together and trackers included
????????????????
400's good, go six if you want, no fluff, capsules or links. be long winded, it might help you...rock on...take your best shot- do it for your dad...
thank you i'm tearing up here bb
thank you
thank you i'm tearing up here bb
thank you
Can I play too?
hell yes sligobay...everybody in.. write something fantastical by 3 eastern. Kimmie, I'm crying too...don't you dare pull any punches...I would hate to make you look bad, tomorrow especially...
hmm.. nice and interesting. i dnt know more about this topic. ur hub is helpful
400 is okay
link to the others as they present themselves...k!
Kisses rosie, kimmie - I love you both..
okay
ty
@blueorpurple
Thank you for your comment amongst our jibberish but you did make my night knowing you got something out of it
Thank you kindly
one photo capsule right? but mor than one pic
and how do we link to ech other, oh nevermind i know
done!
lets do 1-3 photos and linking commences only when all done
Ill walk ya through it
I think well be more famous that the internet
Blondey is there any other capsules you want?
Blondy lets do map capsules with pins where love occurred lmfa
It would be like no HP space left
just saying
LOL
okay
I want more pics like 7
I'll call your 6 and do 8
pthtttthhhh
I'm getting excited here...
I have a straight flush, that's 7
I'll see your 8 and throw in an illustration, that's worth 1.3
ok girl
you got it
ok girl
you got it
Gone to passion..
I'm in with the journey after. http://hubpages.com/hub/Marshmallow-Skies-short-po
Hugs Kimberly. Dad is in a better place darlin.
see buttheads slig is the best damn writer here-did ya check his hubs first
noooooooooooooooo
i surrender you really have no idea of this talent
but do love him
off to read and post your link at end of hub
you rock my world
well we'll see
I visited Mr slig, saw his post, loved his bio, messed up the fan mail thing, I think I sent him my phone bill, but you're right, we're screwed, but hey any love of yours is a love of ours. He probably thinks we're crazy losers, at least lost'rs...
Oh where ,oh where , can our little Kim be?
hi sweet pea
just got mom to sleep No way was I letting her go home last night in that state
I best type my hub or is there a way i can rub my pen on the screen and scan it on
ha
see ya in 77777777 hours
I'm a one finger typist still
xo
marshmallow head
xoxo
hi sweet pea
just got mom to sleep No way was I letting her go home last night in that state
I best type my hub or is there a way i can rub my pen on the screen and scan it on
ha
see ya in 77777777 hours
I'm a one finger typist still
xo
marshmallow head
xoxo
Happy you spent the day with mom. I'm sure you two needed each other.
We're the fastest one finger typists there are...Lol..only members of the marshmallow heads anonymous (the MHA) write that way.
You'll need all those hours, plus 3, to win, but I don't know Mr. sligo writes a powerful piece, and Rosie's haunting us with hers...
Mine, is a piece of art.... just saying..
And did I say I've been up two days.... Do I get points for being pitiful?
God damn I love this stuff....I've illustrated a children's book, last night, picked up that award for my animation, cast my two latin dancers in 44 pounds of fire breathing bronze, wrote the best damn piece about a woman yet, 2700 words, no less (whatever happened to 7 or 800), started a new award winning animation, started a new 2 foot tall woman dancer/flyer sculpture, and I'm inspiring and helping my fellow students achieve their dreams - did I say god damn, I love this stuff....
All that with all due respect for Kimberly's breathtaking hub here and her lost incredible friend, of which all things in my life pales in comparison..
Much luv, Kimmie,
billy..
thanks babe
who has published?
I need the links as I am spotlighting them
Can you let me know even better if you have the links
luv and tickles
kymberli
ps should be done by morning your time lmao
BB - can't believe that you both sculpt and animate along with your prolific writing - I am following. I draw with pencils but am such a wanna-be sculptor ever since seeing Michaelangelo's Pieta, David and other works in Florence nearly 40 years ago.I've been to Philly to see the Thinker and hands of Rodin, I think. You have mad skills. Do you have images of your animation and sculpture on particular Hubs? Any friend of Kimberly is a friend of mine!
Kimberly- you have the most eclectic collection of friends of anyone in the whole world. Much love,Love!
No one better than you Bay
Will be publishing by 10 if I can find the button
aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i hate my hub
better to hate than to have?
so tired slig send me energy
Kimberly; I've read all three. I missed the focus of arousal and eoticism and will need to resubmit another this weekend. I was thinking fantasy but not sexual fantasy. This I can do as you recall from the "Three Mile High" exchange. I think that I'll need to generate a little heat after reading the three hubs. Now I understand the map references of your discussions with Blondey. LOL
ha
and no babe not at all sexual as a matter of fact where blondie i think won leaps and bounds was presenting our topic without organ donations lol
I am really upset with bb
no links
no comments to us too
excedded word count by 1000
and is enjoying his new friends and fame sadly at the expense of two people who carried him here.
You know that takes alot for me to say, but theres another person here who got ignored, could care less of me
sorry to rant
it shall be interesting
and you were spot on
did you get a comment?
loves ya
I'm destroyed by myself once again... late as usual... slow to make my feeling known.. perhaps a failure to do so all together... I don't want anything but your love and now I fear the worst... Silly me, I've been alone because of my stupidity before...
I wrote from the excitement, the love of you..and Rosie.. I got carried away...I'm sorry... I'm destroyed
I'm now feeling like the one thing I wanted more that anything, to be close to you .. is impossible... and I'm destroyed by the thought
I have failed many times in the past, and this is the worst..
I'm sorry, sorry..sorry...
How does one do a cross-link anyway? My work is once again done driven by the challenge.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Record-Breaking-Romance-Wh
This is more apropos, I hope.
I didn't have organ donations either...
but I do agree with you Kimberly, you and Rosie did win....
Organ donations? I must be getting old.
I'm not sure of that one either, but I know I didn't have any...
"Scars are just tattoos with better stories..........so they say." I need another tattoo Kimberly. I need to see more American faces of disgust when they look at my hair, my beard, my tattoos. I need to find a place to "lie down". I need - want - a spectacular ending to a life of nightmares. I need to be a hero. Too late. And who would notice? I need, I want a better ending than I foresee. I'd rather take the hill, the curve, the rough road on my terms - or the terms of a higher calling.
I've been on Ward 15-East. I know from whence you speak. I cannot go on with bu$ine$$ as usual. It's soon time for Micky to shuffle off. But the final curtain must be colorful. I need to be "of purpose". God bless you Kimberly.
My God, this is a shocking revelation. There is a fine line between genius and mental illness. I'm glad you walk it well and with finesse. Life without you would somehow be less.
I'm thankful you have chosen to stay on your path and bring light and understanding to all you encounter. Bless you my friend. You are a profound enigma. I am thankful you are still here, do please try to stay that way 'til natural causes say otherwise.
Oh Kimberly so sad about your friend. She is at peace now, but it´s sad for you. Always the one left behind hurts so much., Even so, l´m glad you had her for a while.
Your writing flows fabulously . l hope it is therapy for you. It certainly is wonderful for us.
love you girl , Dim xx
Dim and William you made my hub worth while and validated emotions that most would not write about and I thank you dearly. I want people to know the truth-I don't mourn Jeri as odd as that sounds given she was in my life at such a critical time, suppose I just really understand and so grateful that he was sent to me, like am about you two
bless
xo
i just needed to be with jeri tonight
You need to be with me tonight ..I'll call you in a few minutes
ok shoot must charge up phone for a few so it works
are you in or out of the cave/
don't want to interrupt bats at play
It's Ok, I'm there with you now...
Can you call me in an hour???? I know it's late there, if not, f**k it, call me sooner..
In my cave - pitch black but for a string of candles..
You're right, bats at play are very, very dangerous - they go for the neck you know....
ha
bats bad
caves good
an hour cause your getting some, ass
so jealous
I need more than an hour for that....
You better be jealous, because that makes you hot and bothered, and that's the only way the bats will leave you alone - then of course you neck is vulnerable to other characters of the dark.
My day will come, as will I, no doubt. How it goes DOWN, is my biggest mystery and I will not be patient, I am worth more, so I shall find a cave in the interm, or maybe a few as I wait, and walk alone.,,
I can TASTE the providence of your exposure, as I'm sure there are many PASSAGES to explore...
And alone is but a state of mind, just as TOGETHER is an inevitability....
I love that comment, the most beautiful that only a BB could claim and talent to inspire dreams that are so powerful it's irrelevant if they come true, the dream is enough. However........
They are two alone and four each other, I'm gunnin for you I'm gunnin for you
I love the gunsight's precurser of destruction
i like carved out tips, targets and challenges but none as much as games
Do you like this avatar?
Your avatar is now mine...
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
no one would touch her, being so frail, terrified she break
I'll be gentle...
She doesn't look that frail. How have you all been?
how do you know how to do that/
distract me enough i get moments of relief?
thank you
thats a superpower
ha crying again in gratitude, truly
crying in gratitude is good...now lets try crying in happy..
I told you, my super power is love..
ok
nice gift never loose it my friend and long distant lover
don't rub it in...night bby
KL,
I have to say, i am really not mature enough to totally synthsize this hub- i am lucky a few anti depressents seem to keep me on a more even keel-but contrary to what most could say I feel bad/sad that you had to endure a double prison one internal and external-I can only infer what that is like- If nothing else look back remember where you have been and always remember "IT'S NOT WHERE YOU'RE FROM ITS WHERE YOU'RE AT". ANY DAY YOU THINK YOU HAVE 'ISSUES' REMEMBER THAT LITLE SAYING. I am not saying you should forget I am saying use the past to accentuate the progress- had I not read this I would never in 100 yeats guessed anything of this sort ofexperience would have happened to you. You are wise and in my opinion level headed and focused-your journey as followed an unusual path but that does nt make you a freak-a guy with a godzilla icon- is a freak- HA but Kim, you are stronger than you know or suspect-anyone you choose to share even a sliver of your journey with will be better for it , someday - maybe already you will find your "other half" and that person will be quite a very lucky soul
You are awesome in so many ways always REMEMBER
"ITS NOT WHERE YOU'RE FROM ITS WHERE YOU'RE AT..." REJOICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY has been long where you are at is somewhere to be proud of...
TH
TH I am putting this comment in my hub I hope you don't mind but it really spoke to me and I thank You
hold on
KL,
You can do whatever you want i'm just glad you found it useful enough and worthy to include it into a hub of yours your such a way better writer than I/me ... (whatever the grammer is) but every once and a while " a blind pig finds an acorn". What can I say on occassion
I get something right thanks for the compliment!
TH
TH
hope you like video I just put in
wishes keep our desires strong, and carry us through anything!
cheers my friend
KL,
wishes are for suckers they are fanciful desires that do nothing but dissapoint those who make them- Wishes are the impossible hopes of those who don't know any better or who have almost given the only wishes that come true are for ones own death even that wish can go unfullfilled making it another failure to put in your book of life lessons... at that point why bother at all wishing.....
TH
Holy mackeral Kim,
you put MY words in your hub!!!!!
i am shocked and honored- as for the last comment - just erase it- I was in a bad bad bad mood and was not feeling very happy or not in a good frame of mind and that night I was in need of alot of things that way I am not in violation of the double comment rule...
:-D
TH
TH
You are pure amazing. Thank you for your continued support!
This was one of the first hubs I read of yours, love, and I must say that it is a supreme example of not only the incredible depth of truth and love in your soul, but testament as to you being one of the greatest writers of all time...GODILU
Kim,
yes BUT YOU are all that AND a bag of sour cream and onion chips MIXED with a bag of cheddar bacon chips....
MMMMM potato chips MMMMM
TH
Please get chips
Cravings unbearable
Perhaps not completely off topic as we're talking about Kimberly stepping out from a life of trauma she not once deserved, I would suggest roasted, or even slightly warmed marshmallows at a warming Springtime fire off the beaten path at a quiet little campground...and having some some simple words of praise of just how incredibly far Kimberly has come and a toast to my guarantee of protection and happiness for her for eternity...never again will I allow anyone to hurt her precious soul...
BB,
Hellert Axiom of truth #2 "Nothing good happens in the woods"... Beware the trees for tees tell no tales
TH
'
A misty morning, an exquisite flower, a meadow, a fawn and her mother, the birth and holding place for all that is pure..it is only man who distorts nature to something ugly...
kimberlyslyrics Hub Author 16 months ago
hmmm Jan 14